Zoe Saldana: "Star Trek Sex Scene Was Anything But Sexy"

Remember that new Star Trek movie sex scene? Apparently it was "trying to be sexed up for a new generation that really isn’t used to seeing Star Trek". Needless to say they failed miserably. Kirk is rubbing against some green chick in bra and panties and then Zoe Saldana's striptease is interrupted by Kirk spying under her bed. What did you expect, it's only a PG-13. Anyway, the news is Zoe Seldana apparently said "There’s nothing sexual about shooting a sex scene, you must know! You are sweating your ass off under the lights, or you’re freezing. You’re hungry, or you’re bloated and gassy because they had pizza on the set that day." So now you know, Zoe Seldana was bloated and gassy in her sex scenes. I'm as surprised as you are...

Before the Devil Knows You're Dead Movie Sex Scenes

I'm warning you, Before the Devil Knows You're Dead is a pretty fucked up movie. Of course it starts all cheery, actually it's one of those movies that open with a sex scene. But don't let that fool you. Slowly but surely things get more and more depressing until you'll find yourself sobbing in a corner and shaking like Shakespeare, cursing the day you decided to see this flick. I exaggerate a bit, but seriously, it's almost as depressing as some Requiem For A Dream.

It's got Marisa Tomei sex scenes though! I won't blabber about the plot, all you need to know is there are two brothers: Philip Seymour Hoffman and Ethan Hawke, the former is hooked up with Marisa Tomei and the latter is banging her behind Philip's back. They organize a robbery and screw up big time.

Firstly we see the Philip and Marisa getting it on like crazy. Doggy style and all sweaty and excited, it's like they're having the sex of their lives. It's pretty short but pretty hardcore as well, no wonder they slapped an R rating on that smut! Afterwards they spend a couple of minutes in bed reminiscing on the awesome sex they just had and Marisa Tomei flashes her boobs a bit. She's got the sexiest nipples I've ever seen...



Marisa also has a nude scene with Ethan Hawke, they've just finished getting it on and Marisa starts to get dressed. Some tits and Ethan Hawke's ass and that's the last piece of nudity you're gonna get. It's not the kind of movie you'd expect a bunch of sex and nudity from anyways, you should be happy with what you got. I say it was pretty nice, the movie's not that bad either, it's got a lot of depth and if you disagree, take it to those bastards hollywood producers.



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Before the Devil Knows You're Dead movie sex scene times:

• 0:00
• 0:14

Species 2 Sex Scenes

Due to popular demand, here's Species 2. Some astronauts go to Mars, get infected with another one of those aliens from the first movie, but the original Sil is cloned with more human DNA so she's one of the good guys now. More of the same and the bad guy is now the good guy, that is one original sequel. Sadly there's no Natasha Henstridge nudity right until the end, but there are some decent sex scenes with other random people.

The the old possey of good guys regroups again to stop those horny aliens once again, but this time they're even clumsier than the first time. One of those astronauts is already screwing everything that walks, completely ignoring the fact he was supposed to be under 10 day sexual quarantine. He gets these two chicks from whoknowswhere, screws them both and minutes later they've got babies bursting out of them like some Aliens. Oh, and Sil #2 is telepathically sensing the whole thing. Yeah, she's dirty...



One more scene with that horny astronaut, it's almost the same as the first one, I can hardly tell them apart.

And finally, some naked Natasha Henstridge. Sil escapes from the lab once again and pays a visit to our sexy astronaut. They're kissing in slow motion for a while but then they both take their alien forms and Sil's got tentacles growing out of her boobs and all kinds of other wierd shit.



So there you have it, I honestly don't know what the big deal is. It's got two more sex scenes but I prefer the original hands down. On top of that it's generally a much crappier movie, it's a damn sequel after all.

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Species 2 sex scenes times:

• 0:20
• 0:36
• 1:15
  

Movie Sexy Scenes Mix #2

It's once again time for some crappy, or should we say "watered down" movie sex scenes, or should we say "random flashes of nudity in movies that have no sex scenes but still try to squeeze in a quick bare breast or two".

How about some "greatest movie ever made" - The Godfather. There's a scene of Al Pacino and his Sicilian wife Apolonia (Simonetta Stefanelli) consumating their marriage, but it just ends with Simonetta Stefanelli undressing herself and exposing her tits. Disappointing, but I'm sure Coppola knew what he was doing. The Godfather: Part II doesn't have anything that even comes close and all that's in Part III is some chick's naked ass. Just fuggetaboutit.



Man On The Moon: I guess Milos Forman never was a big fan of sex scenes. Even in The People vs. Larry Flynt all you can see are some tits. You can see some tits in the Man On The Moon as well, but that's it. The legend says Andy Kaufman (of whom the said film is about) was quite familiar with the ladies of the night. It seems that's where he started his women's wrestling career. So Jim Carrey pays a visit to the whorehouse where he wrestles two naked chicks, the end. I should mention there's plenty of sexy wrestling with chicks (alas being clothed) later on. And I mean it, it's pretty hot, I wish I could get into women's wrestling... They probably changed the rules after Andy Kaufman though.



White Sands: Not much to say here, just your usual crime thriller flick, but I kinda liked it anyways. Just Willem Dafoe having a shower with Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio. I still don't know what the hell's going on, he's a happily married guy and there they are in the shower with that sexy music playing that always leads to sex, but then it cuts to the scene where she's pretending to having sex, so Willem Dafoe can take out the guys keeping surveillance on them. So they did it for real before, but now they're pretending? How come we didn't get to see the real thing? Also, they probably used a body double for Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio's nude scene, I don't know but that could have been anyone's hair... Those bastards, depriving us of celebrity nudity.



You might have heard about Wrong Turn, it was a fairly decent horror flick with one mistake: no titties. Well the sequel Wrong Turn 2: Dead End fixed that (somewhat). There's a scene of Crystal Lowe flirting around with her titties. You see, they're filming a reality show and you gotta have stuff like that in there, but I digress. Anyways, that's about it, except for an unrevealing blowjob, one of them disfigured forest mutants jerking off to Crystal Lowe relaxing down by the river and scenes of two of them hideous creatures getting it on - no nudity, but in the latter case that might actually be a good thing.



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Sexy scene times:

• The Godfather - 1:46
• Man On The Moon - 0:44
  
• White Sands - 1:10
  
• Wrong Turn 2 - 0:29
  

Species Sex Scenes

If you're looking for some sexy aliens, look no further than Species. Natasha Henstridge running around topless half the time... aliens are rarely this hot. Scientists apparently received some DNA code from the aliens and created this half alien half human chick called Sil, but then she escaped and now she wants to have babies. Lucky for us, the human-alien hybrids don't reproduce asexually, so you know what's coming next. It sounds like the plot of some porno flick, but it's not. Really.

So this sexy alien is trying to settle down and start a family, but there's a bunch of blood thirsty scientists trying to hunt her down just because she's got a somewhat faster metabolism (she gets from a baby into an adult in like couple of days, you can see why that's a problem). I mean, seriously, there's no indication the aliens even wish to harm them, and just look at those titties! If you're not rooting for the evil aliens in this movie, there's obviously something wrong with you.

But let us put aside the moral dilemmas and get straight to the tittes. And are they of plenty. There's not any real sex right until the end, because, you know, if she has a kid the aliens will take over the world and stuff, but there's just tits everywhere, when she's dressing up in the motel, when she almost gets it on with some dude who turns out to be a jerk, when she's washing off his blood under the shower...



After that she meets another perfect guy, a rather lengthy scene of skinny dipping in the pool follows, but Sil's attempts at starting a family are thwarted by the coitus interruptus personified - the Ben Kingsley and his possey of scientists. There is an upside to this, apparently Sil didn't even have the time to put her clothes on, so now she's running around stark naked.



Natasha Henstridge is not the only one having sex in here, Lennox (Michael Madsen) and Dr. Laura Baker (Marg Helgenberger) are flirting like some school kids and sooner or later they too get it on. You know what they say, there's no aphrodisiac like chasing an alien that's about to take over the world. Not much of a scene, but there's some Marg Helgenberger's tits. I still think of that scene every time I watch CSI.



In her quest for a perfect man, Sil was trying to get it on with Lennox, but Dr. Arden (Alfred Molina) (another member of the scientist possey) happens to be at the right place at the right time, so she settles for him. He doesn't even know who she is because she dyed her hair black. A brilliant disguise, you might add sarcastically, but if I was a geeky anthropologist and found a sexy chick like that in my room, I wouldn't know she was an alien if she had bleedin tentacles growing out of her forehead. Anyway, it's finally an entire sex scene, it keeps getting interrupted by some other happenings, but lucky for you I edited that out. Sil finally gets a baby and the possey regroups to hunt it down and you can see some alien tits near the end and Sil giving birth and blah, blah, blah. The fun stuff is long gone.



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Species movie sex scenes times:

• 0:34
• 0:41
• 0:42
  
• 0:52
  
• 0:57
• 1:00
• 1:18
• 1:19
• 1:22

The Unbearable Lightness of Being

Nevermind the annoying accents and Daniel Day-Lewis looking like some damn Zoolander, The Unbearable Lightness of Being is a wonderful flick. And sexy too. When a movie starts with a sex scene you can probably assume where the rest of it will go.

Tomas (Daniel Day-Lewis) is a successfull brain surgeon, he's so excellent even, he can't be satisfied by just one woman. We can see him seducing some random hospital employee in the very first few minutes of the film.




Tomas's main woman, though, is Sabina (Lena Olin). They're having sex in front of a mirror right after the hospital scene. Looks like they're having quite a bit of fun there. If you pay attention you can catch a quick glimpse of Sabina's pussy, the sheets are obviously there just to conceal Day-Lewis's ass.



Tomas meets Tereza (Juliette Binoche) and they too get it on eventually. There's no nudity yet, so I left it out, there's a bunch of stuff like that in there. Tomas pays another visit to Sabina and they have sex in front of the mirror yet again. She hides his sock there at the end. She's probably pissed about his whoring around.



Then the Soviets invade and a bunch of other things happen. They all move to Switzerland where Tereza decides to become a photographer, so one day she visits Sabina to do some nudes. Apparently she has an amazing sense of the female body. Tereza shoots some pictures, but then Sabina decides to take some pictures of her own. They're running around bare naked, Tereza trying to cover herself until both they end up on the sofa where Sabina gets on top of her and starts undressing her panties. She seems a bit passive aggresive, but they soon switch to a more sexy and relaxed atmosphere and have a bit of fun by the fireplace. Looks like they've been doing this all day. No wonder, the whole thing is about 8 minutes long.



Tereza returns to Prague and after a while Tomas joins her as well. They fall into each other's arms and have some sex. Tereza cries with happiness.



For criticizing the communist regime, Tomas now works as a window cleaner. And that's where he meets his next floozy. She immediately starts flirting, apparently she's got some kid of "medical problems". She undresses before him and that's about it, but hey, it's nudity so I'm not complaining.



Eventually Tereza becomes fed up with Tomas seeing all these women and jumps in bed with some guy she met at the bar (Stellan Skarsgård). She's very uncomfortable about the whole thing but does it anyway. It kinda feels like rape, but she feels at peace afterwards, I guess it's nice to know your partner is not the only one who's sleeping around. A lot of stuff also happens afterwards, but maybe you should look those things up by yourself.




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Times of the scenes:

• 0:03
• 0:28
• 1:29
  
• 1:53
• 2:11
• 2:19